School Act 82 and the B.C. Ministry of Education Attention: George Abbott

I recently received an email message from my son’s middle school requesting that I provide “missing” documentation in order that the school get provincial funding for teaching him.  The school system now needs to have documented evidence of the parent’s status in Canada, residency and guardianship.  In short, I was born in Canada, I have lived at my current address for about 12 years, which is about the length of time I have been raising my son.  I have always known the school system to be rather egocentric, but the politicians and Ministry of Education behind School Act 82 are way over the top here in terms of legalistic invasiveness and lack of common sense.

My son is in 7^th grade.  I already provided citizenship evidence about 8 years ago.  Now I have to do it again, but with far more documentation.  Why? Is the original information suspicious?  Are we all under suspicion? Does trust play any role any more in British Columbia? Are we still citizens?  Or is the B.C. government more concerned with population control? Is the Tri-Cities area (where my son has gone to school) no longer in the same country? Is it possible that my son’s teachers were not teaching my son?  Is it possible that I don’t really have a son at all?  Is it possible that somebody else’s boy is posing as my son?  Have I been forging the “parent’s signature” all along? Is it possible that I have been pretending to cut the grass at someone else’s home for the last dozen years?  Am I an imposter?  Are other parents natural-born imposters?  Are the children learning “bad-imposter” habits from their parents? Does it mean that my “son” gets and “F” on all his “Picture Book Projects” because his “father” has not yet proven to the province that the photos are those of  “family”, “home” and “country”?

Well, instead of birth and death certificates I would like to propose “life” certificates – an all-in-one panoptical package, perhaps formatted in an iPod, complete with the necessary documentation that proves who you claim you are and where you live: in short, that you exist, along with a “family” tree – and of course, pictures.  In order to prevent identity theft (or loss), it is best that children get the iPod implanted somewhere discreet, and the good thing is that these devices are getting smaller all the time.  Each year kids can go to school for scanning to prove that they have a life, and if they don’t show up – it will be proof that their parents did not pay their taxes, or that they are imposters.  Quick, get me the Minister of Education ...